BBC 500 Words

The Chris Evans Breakfast Show ran a 500 word writing challenge for children and my son decided to have a go at it. He loved writing the story and was thrilled when we got the email to say he got through the first selection round  - where they selected 3000 out of over 90,000 stories to go forward. He was disappointed to get the next email saying his story didn't get into the final round but we're all so proud of him and he's taken the story into school to read it out

So, here's his entry and I hope you'll enjoy it as much as we have.

Doughnut Dad

Max was on his way up to bed. I hate vegetables, he thought. He’d had another row with dad that night. Dad wanted him to eat sprouts and Max had just pushed them round his plate, saying he’d rather have doughnuts for supper.

That night Max dreamt of having doughnuts every day.

The next morning when he woke-up he went downstairs to breakfast and when he went into the kitchen he found three doughnuts on a plate!
‘Hip-hip-hooray,’ he shouted.
He took a bite.
‘Mmmmmmm. Melted chocolate doughnuts,’ he said.

Dad came in. ‘Come on,' he said. ‘Let’s go see haunted doughnut mountain in the cinema!’
 ‘Hooray,' shouted Max again.
After the movie, they went out for lunch. Dad ordered five doughnuts for each of them.
‘Yum,’ said Max, when their rainbow coloured plate of doughnuts arrived.

Every meal for the next ten days, Max’s dad gave him doughnuts and nothing else. No tasty sausages, no delicious chicken, no softly, flaking fish. No chips or creamy potatoes. No squishy parcels or ribbons of pasta coated in Italian sauces, bursting with flavour. No bread. And not even ONE, SINGLE VEGETABLE!

Max could feel his teeth rotting. They were starting to hurt from all that sugar, even if he cleaned them ten times a day.

On the tenth night, Max climbed the stairs to bed. His tummy ached and his feet plodded with a thump on each step. He was fed-up. Once more he cleaned his teeth but he was sure the sugar continued to cling to them. Then he curled up in bed.

Dad came in. ‘You’re very quiet tonight,’ he said, sitting down on the edge of Max’s bed.
‘My tummy hurts from all those doughnuts and my teeth are stinging.’
‘I see,’ said dad. ‘Sounds like you’re a bit bored of doughnuts.’
‘I know you love them and all,’ said Max, sitting up. ‘But could I please have something different!’
‘Well,’ dad said thoughtfully. ‘Tomorrow is Sunday. I’ll see what I can do.’

Dad tucked Max up and ruffled his hair. Max fell asleep and in his dreams he imagined a big plate of roast potatoes, Yorkshire pudding and beef in a pool of thick, dark gravy. He licked his lips, almost able to taste the big mound of mashed carrots and parsnips, a well in the centre containing a curl of melting butter. 'Mmmm. Vegetables,' he called out in his sleep.

 

Undertaking Love: Kat French

I've mentioned in previous posts that I belong to some online writing communities and one of them is the Harper Collins owned Authonomy.

It's a review site where writers can upload as much or as little of their work as they like, subject to a 10,000 word minimum. Readers can also join up. The site also comes with a forum, where several critique groups can be found. I've found them to be one of the most valuable aspects of the site. At one stage I ran the Romance Crit Group and I'm one of the original, participating members of the Women's Fiction Crit Group, run by Gail Cleare.

Previously, there was a lively critique group for chick-lit. Some of the chick-lit writers have since formed Vanity Case Books.

One book, which I first came across in the chick-lit group, is Undertaking Love. I've had the great privilege of reading and reviewing a brief sample of this story, at an earlier stage of its life, and was thrilled when the news came that Harper Collins had picked it up and would publish it. The book is available to pre-order. The release date is 25th April 2013 and I can't wait to download my copy so I can find out what happens to Marla and whether the wedding chapel and funeral parlour find a way to co-exist and live in harmony.

Good luck Kat and I'm sure you'll have a whole new legion of fans very soon.

Post Love Comment

As a full-time mum and blogger, I joined BritMums blogging network and had the privilege of meeting some other very busy blogging mums. One of whom, Victoria Welton, blogs at Verily, Victoria Vocalises.... Every Friday Victoria runs a linky called Post Comment Love and this week I finally got round to joining in. So, if you'd like to view any of the variety of posts added to the linky please check them out on the links above. You'll also find them on twitter with #PoCoLo.

Seaforde Gardens

Near the village of Seaforde in County Down a balmy oasis shelters some stunning butterflies. Seaforde Gardens is home to a tropical butterfly house, two joined glasshouses, one containing butterflies and the other reptiles, fish and birds.

We've visited lots of times before and on other occasions we've visited the grounds and maze, as well as the butterfly house. There are separate charges for anyone thinking of visiting. Today we stayed in the warmth of the tropical houses, apart from a brief sojourn for the kids to clamber around the play area. The butterflies are free flying and were quite happy to land on their visitors. The kids always enjoy checking on the cabinets of cocoons and today we saw a recently freed butterfly drying its new wings.

The other highlight are the peacocks and peahens which wander freely around the gardens. They were out in force today, the boys doing a great deal of showing off for the girls. The rustle of their showy tails could be heard all around as they vibrated them.

A butterfly making the most of the oranges dotted around the butterfly house

Enjoying a bowl of nectar

A peacock showing off for the peahens

If you click on this photo you should be able to see another peacock with his tail feathers on display in the background

      
http://www.seafordegardens.com/index.php?id=1

Flash Fiction

I love the challenge of Flash Fiction. I posted this story on SkyPen, meeting the challenge of a story on any topic, in any genre, in 99 words.

Snowy Mourne Mountains

Wednesday 27th March and we woke to a good covering of snow. Between sick children and the last day of school, the kids didn't get out to enjoy it and by the time school was over it had melted. The dogs did enjoy rolling about in it.

Whilst it didn't last long in my area, I live near the Mourne Mountains and can see they are still completely white and covered with snow. Friday night, avalanche warnings were given out for some of them. The roads are clear and the mountains are now passable so we took a drive through them on Saturday afternoon. I've included some photos, below, showing our journey, heading for Spelga dam, via Hilltown and down to Kilkeel, driving back through Bryansford.

The contrast between the green lower lands and the pure white of the high Mournes, as they meld with the sky was spectacular. We had some fun with snowballs and watched the sledgers and snow-boarders making the most of the remaining snow.

There has been a lot of news coverage about the hardships faced by so many throughout Northern Ireland in this unseasonal cold snap. The height of the snow pushed to the sides of the road and still covering some houses, brought home how difficult it's been for some people.

The wall of Spelga Dam

Partially Frozen Dam

Ice In The Dam

Sledgers By Spelga Dam

The mountain ahead was covered in sledgers and some snow boarders. Photo also shows the height of snow pushed off the road.

Mountains, dam and sky melding

Tops of a snow covered fence

Irish Sea and Kilkeel in the distance

Near Bryansford & Tollymore

Opening Lines

I've read a lot of writing books, tweets and blog posts saying how important the opening line to a story is. Writers must work hard to avoid cliches and grab the reader with it.

I know the first sentences are probably the most often changed in my own novels.

When I write a novel, my first draft usually contains too much backstory and character building as I develop an understanding of my characters and their stories. This means the first draft doesn't open where the story begins and I'll end up cutting my first chapter, weaving elements of it into later chapters as I edit. I'm sure I'm not alone in that.

No matter which draft I'm working on I keep going back to the initial lines, trying to hone them. I want to draw the reader in, get them interested in the setting, plot or characters (or better still all three) but it's very difficult to achieve.

So, here are the latest versions of the opening paragraphs for The Glass House and for the rewrite of Twisted Truth (now Finding Us). 

The Glass House:

Caitlin ground her teeth in rhythm with the ice machine in her sister's oversized, glossy fridge-freezer. It whirred and cracked, spitting shards of ice into the glass Niamh held under it, before filling it with purified water.

'Sure you don't want one?' Niamh turned, holding her glass up to Caitlin.

'We live in the West of Ireland and it's January. Freezing cold water isn't going to warm my bones.' Caitlin shuffled the gardening manuals spread across the island in her sister's kitchen, wishing Niamh would have the sense to offer her a hot drink.

'More fool you for choosing a career that leaves you outside most of the day.'

Caitlin rifled through the pages, marked with sticky notes, to find the next one she'd highlighted.

'Look, just tell me what you think about these.' She gestured towards the page. 'What about the Clematis montana, this honeysuckle, maybe the winter flowering jasmine and an evergreen cistus?'

'I've no idea what any of those are.' Niamh flicked her hand backwards across the books. 'You choose.'

'Won't you at least look at the pictures?'

'As long as you get rid of what's out there and plant something new I couldn't care less what it is. Besides, I trust you.'

'Sometimes I despair of you,' Caitlin said, pushing a stray curl back into her pony-tail. 'I'm never going to convince you gardening is good for the soul, am I?'

'You inherited those genes,' Niamh replied, holding up one hand, the sparkling, well-tended talons on display. 'I much prefer nail extensions to green fingers, thank you very much.' Setting the glass down on the gleaming surface, Niamh pushed the gardening manuals closer to her sister. Caitlin accepted them, revealing her stubby finger nails. The skin on her hands coarser than Niamh's and stained from the green and brown of plants and soil, the tools of her trade.

'Lucky you found a rich man to marry then.' Caitlin tucked her hands between her jean clad, legs, shifting on the uncomfortable bar stool, watching her sister bristle as she grabbed the edge of the granite.

'Ah for God's sake, don't get on your soap box again.'

'My little sister marries some divorcee, with a daughter closer to her age than he is, and I'm just supposed to shut up and accept it.'

'Honestly – yes. It's my life, I've made my choices and it's about time you learnt to respect that.'

'Respect. That's a laugh. Not a word I'd link with your husband and his finances.'

'You can be such a judgemental cow,' Niamh said, slapping the books laid out before her. 'And don't forget, it's Tom's generosity paying for your services.'

Caitlin opened her mouth to reply that he hadn't paid for anything yet but the noise of the phone ringing stole Niamh's attention.

Finding Us:

This is what happens when your best friend disappears, your mother's driving you loopy and work's taking over your life. You go out with a group of crazy friends, drink far too much, especially when it's only mid-week, and wake-up to find you aren't in your own bed and all you're wearing is yesterday's make-up and some hairy arm.

Trying to peel the offending arm off her stomach and roll out off the bed undetected, Charlotte cursed Katie for lining up all those shots and herself for not making a 3 am flit.

Retrieving her dress and underwear she tip-toed from the bedroom, steadied herself against a sofa and dressed. Searching the combined kitchen and slob-out room she stumbled over her shoes, stabbing her toe with the spiky heel.

Charlotte tried pulling on the hem of the dress but couldn't make it reach her mid-thigh, never mind the knee length suitable for work. Releasing the security chain and teasing the door handle downwards, she slipped out of the stranger's flat. What to do now? Make the walk-of-shame into work wearing last night's clothes or a mad dash home to change. Over-stuffed Tube or a taxi stuck in rush-hour traffic? Charlotte closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her choices all lead to one thing; she'd be be late, the last thing she needed.

The Glass House is women's fiction and deals with the difficult relationship that has developed between two sisters, exploring how rumour and bad judgements can alter perceptions of people. Caitlin is the earthy type, preferring the sanctuary of her restored Victorian Glass House to the sparkling, modern home and material items Niamh adores. I hope the opening lines set the tone for the tension brewing between them, whilst showing they are everyday women, the reader can identify with.

Finding Us is also women's fiction but has lighter elements of romance and chick-lit. Charlotte's a workaholic solicitor with a phobia to commitment. Her best-friend's pregnancy is a surprise but it brings a bigger shock into Charlotte's life; Mark Porter, her first and only love. He disappeared, from their town in Northern Ireland, thirteen years ago and now he wants a second chance. Charlotte's tempted but she has a secret to protect and finding each other could risk revealing it. 

I'm still not sure whether I've cracked it with these beginnings and I think I could spend the rest of my life rejigging them because I know how important it is to get them right.

If you'd care to share, I'd love to hear some of your first lines and how you go about deciding the best way to open your stories.

For anyone who wants to read some of those articles I mentioned, here's a selection of links to get you started:

Darley Anderson: How Not To Start Your Novel
Writers House: Chapter One
Emma Darwin: Finding The First Line
Writing.ie: Worst Opening Sentence Ever
Writing.ie: Opening Lines
Moodywriting: Beginnings And Their Endings

Getting Published

A subject dear to the heart of so many writers. Is my writing good enough to be published? If yes, do I seek an agent who will help me find a publisher, submit directly to a publisher or do I self-publish? In either situation do I pay for a writing course, a literary consultancy or an editor before submission or publication?

Writing a novel is only the beginning. There are so many other issues to consider after you've written the ending and, as an unpublished, unknown, it feels like breaking through is almost impossible.

There are countless stories on the internet of the struggles some authors have gone through before being published, all of them telling you not to give up on your dreams. Then I read books like Carole Blake's From Pitch to Publication and there are some reality checks in it about how far down an agent's list of priority the unsolicited manuscripts are.

All of this is going on within the shifting publishing landscape.

I blogged recently about the need for an online presence and how necessary it is even for unpublished writers to build their own brand. I think this blog post from Authonomy, a Harper Collins owned website, expressing the view that self-publishing is 'a powerful incubator for writing talent' is a step on from that discussion.

The Authonomy post could be saying that publishers are not taking risks on new authors. They aren't going out looking for them and they want writers to do their own publicity. They want an author to make a name and a success of their books before they will invest, putting their name behind the book. Now, there's nothing new in an author having to do some marketing and publicity. How many authors have to do book tours, signings, interviews, workshops and readings? That's always appeared to be part of the job to me. The difference here is that Authonomy appear to be saying that new writers need to do all their own editing, publishing, cover design and marketing to sell a few thousand copies in order to attract an agent or a hundred thousand sales to get a publisher's attention. So, if a new writer can only get noticed by spending all this time publishing and marketing their own book to the point that they sell in these figures why do they need a traditional publisher at all and how much time will that leave them for actually writing?

The Authonomy article cites the success of writers, such as E L James, Amanda Hocking and Nick Spalding. Closer to home Leesa Harker signed with Blackstaff Press after she created a noise on social media with her Belfast based parody of Fifty Shades.

I'm still digesting this latest news and trying to decide where it leaves new writers like myself but one thing it has shown me is that publishers are even more reluctant to take on new writers than I previously believed. It looks like they want to avoid all risks and you have to show yourself capable of grabbing readers and sales before they'll consider adding their logo to your book in return for a cut of the cash.

So, do we give up on the dream of traditional publication? Do we self-publish instead or do so hoping that it will still lead to traditional publication?

Impulse - A New Imprint

Harper Collins are calling for submissions to their new digital first imprint - Harper Impulse. They want to hear from romance writers with completed manuscripts of any length.

For more information check out their Facebook page and an interview with Kim Young, Publishing Director at Harper Fiction.

Research

As readers of this blog will know, I write women's fiction. I'm interested in every day people and the sort of trials and tribulations they can face, as well as the happiness and fun they enjoy. I read a lot of women's fiction but I'm also drawn to thrillers and have a legal background so I tend to write a twist or two into my stories.

In some ways that means I don't have to do a lot of research as I can create characters in todays world and draw on my own knowledge and experiences. That doesn't mean I never have to do research and, whilst it may not have to be as in-depth as say those who write historical fiction or crime, there are always elements that I want to understand better.

In The Glass House it included researching criminal laws and penalties, discussing the making of television programmes with a friend from that industry. It meant researching certain plants, their growth, cultivation and harvesting and, in some cases, their toxicity. I also spent time trying to find some recipes that were a little bit out of the ordinary for the challenges the celebrity chef would face. That information I could glean from books and the internet.

The first manuscript I completed was Twisted Truth. For it I had to go back to the law books and spend time considering international commercial law and, as there is a Malaysian aspect to the story, I checked certain facts with the Law Society. I'm not satisfied with that manuscript and it's facing a complete rewrite.

One element of my latest work is adoption and I'm thinking about what would happen if an adopted child sought out their birth parents. I'm considering the impact of social media upon our adoption laws and rights of access between birth parents and children. There's plenty of information out there on the issue but to clarify some of it I looked for an authority on the subject and needed particular advice about adoption laws in Northern Ireland. That's when I found BAAF  - the British Association for Adoption and Fostering. They cover England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland and promote high standards of practice, aiming to be a voice for children separated from their birth parents. I contacted the Northern Ireland branch and want to use this post to mention and thank them. They gave no hesitation in helping me research the topic and point me towards further information. This link will lead you to the BAAF page for Northern Ireland but you can access the pages for England, Scotland and Wales from it. The NI branch also deal with enquiries from the Republic of Ireland. 

Online or Not Online?

I keep seeing articles on blogs and websites, hearing writers who've attended writing courses and workshops, say how important it is for an aspiring author to build their own brand. The world is money shy and publishers don't want to take risks on those who don't have a name or a band of followers. I've heard it touted that being an outgoing and flamboyant personality online is a necessary step on the road to publication and that it all reflects the promotion you'd have to do if your manuscript does get picked up.

As I see it, one problem with all of these ideas is that unless an agent or publisher notices your activity they probably won't know you exist. If you read any of their websites they all say how busy they are and that's why it takes them a while to get back to you about your submission. They have existing clients, who are earning them money, to look after. So, I'm guessing they don't have a lot of free time searching twitter, or any other online source, in the hope of finding a new client.

You could of course mention some of your attempts at own branding in a submission letter but, if you're including chapters with it, I'm sure most writers would be happier to think it's their writing that grabs the agent/publisher, not how many followers they have on twitter.

The other issue is, these activities take time and when you start with them you can get sucked in and distracted. Time that could have been spent writing, editing and submitting.

After reading this you might think I'm anti-online but I belong to a few online writing communities, I tweet and use Facebook, I have this blog and I still manage to find time to write. These activities do have advantages. You can chat to others interested in writing any time of the day or night, you can learn more about the craft of writing, find out what some agents like and dislike, do some research on them prior to submission. I've found the writing communities a way to get reviews on manuscripts to help me identify what's working and what's not.

So, as if I wasn't online enough already, I've joined another one. Wattpad now has a chick-lit section and I've added the opening chapters for The Glass House and Finding Us to it.
Wattpad

Whether you are self-publishing or hoping to go down the traditional route to publication, what are your feelings on the need to be seen online and what methods do you use to try and build a name for yourself?

New Writing Website

SkyPen, is the new site from Blackstaff Press. They call it the 'home of cloud based writers' and it has sections for creative writing, poetry and non-fiction. There's also a blog and information on literary events, writing courses and competitions.

I heard about it through twitter and joined up.

There are several pieces of writing being posted with the phrase Sky Pen and I had a go at a short story for it - Fifty Days To...

Writing Workshop

I had the pleasure of meeting author, Bernie McGill, this week. She's the author of The Butterfly Cabinet - the story of an upper class family in Northern Ireland in the late 1800's, told by one of their servants through letters she writes in the 1960's and through the prison diary of the mother to the family. It captures the wild beauty of our North Coast, reveals life in the Big House, deals with the murder of a child and the confession of a long-held secret. Whilst touching upon the divisions and turbulence in our history, it also portrays the hardships and joys of life.

Bernie is also the current writer in residence for Northern Ireland Libraries. Through their collaboration, a writing workshop was held in my local library on Wednesday night.

My first writing workshop, I approached it with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Happy to meet other writers, face new challenges and learn something about the craft but nervous about what tasks we might be given and whether I'd be able to accomplish anything. The fear of a blank page.

We had a lively evening amongst pleasant company. Plenty of different writing styles and tastes led to some very interesting stories. As someone who writes on the more commercial side of things, I listened in awe to some of the poetic and literary voices within the group.

Bernie gave us three challenges, throughout the evening.

In the first we were given the word LOST and a few minutes to write whatever came to mind. I tried a piece of flash fiction about a mother losing her child, probably giving voice to one of my deepest set fears. Scribbled quickly, it needs a lot of polishing but this is my attempt:

She's gone.
I search the faces, push against the crowd.
The imprint of her hand still felt in mine.
It only took a second.
A moment of distraction.
I call her name but no-one responds.
Why doesn't anyone even stop to look at the mad woman, calling names in the middle of the street?
She can't have gone far.
Those little legs I've cradled and kissed so often, can't run so fast, yet.

For the second task some black and white pictures were passed around. Each person chose one, selected a character from the picture and then paired up with their neighbour. In the mind of the character, we were to answer questions from their POV. I found this a very useful exercise because a character questionnaire is something I've been thinking about. Don't groan because I'm going to mention that book again - Write A Blockbuster. It advises drawing-up a character questionnaire and provides a useful template for doing so but I found it so much easier to answer those questions when someone else fired them at me. I asked Bernie about character development in a Q&A at the end of the night. Some of the ideas she put forward gave me a deeper understanding of how to tackle the character questionnaire - for example if your character saw a road traffic accident or a spill at the supermarket, are they the sort of person who drive/walk away, would they seek assistance or would they stop and get involved?

After answering questions in pairs, Bernie gave us 4 questions to tackle:
1. What do you want?
2. What is your secret?
3. What are you most passionate about?
4. What are you afraid of?

I chose a humorous, whimsical photo but it got me thinking about this innocent, happy scene and what it might hide. I decided to think about one of the characters as a grandfather, watching his grandchildren at the fair, with his wife. Their happy day out hid sadness. A broken marriage, daughter and mother lost to cancer, a man more aware and scared of his own longevity. I got the bones and thoughts of the characters and plan to expand it, give it a mixture of light and dark and develop it, at least into a short story. So watch this space  - you may yet get to meet Gladys and Norman.

I found the last task most difficult as it seemed more personal. The blank page did get filled but I felt more dissatisfied with that effort. We were given a poem, Snakeskin Stilettos by Moyra Donaldson and were asked to write about a time, as a child or young adult, when you did something mildly or strongly forbidden. Certainly one to shake the grey cells and one I'd recommend you try.

I've had a productive writing week. My edits of The Glass House continue and it's getting stronger and positive reviews from the online writing groups. I've started a complete rewrite of my first full MS - Twisted Truth - and have managed to rewrite over 7,000 words so far, cutting all the teenage chapters, moving the pace forward and changing it to 3rd person. Another MS which has languished unfinished may get re-started as the spark has arrived for how to move it on.

I learnt a lot from the workshop, overcame my fear of writing on the spot and sharing it with others and discovered a writing circle in my local area. A few of us have swapped twitter ID's and numbers and hopefully we'll be meeting up soon for a coffee and chat. Writing can be a lonely business and at the end of the day, you alone are the only one who can bring your characters to life and fulfil their story but there are plenty of others out there, experiencing the same thing as you and together you can find a shared topic of conversation and spark ideas of each other.

Would I recommend a writing get-together? Absolutely.

Bernie McGill
NI Libraries

Contrasts

I took a walk along the River Bann this morning. Starting in town, I followed a neat, clean, tarmaced path, which ran alongside the river and through a copse. A cold morning where sound carried. Houses flank either side of the river and at my starting point children were playing, walkers and dog owners out in force, the noise of a chainsaw rattling permeated throughout. As I walked further quietness descended, turning into one of those mornings when bird calls are heard loud and clear. If any leaves had remained on the trees, you could have heard one fall.

The river, a silent, continuous mirror, reflected the trees that overhung it on one side and the cultivated gardens meeting its bank on the other.

As the sprawl of modern homes tapered, the gurgle and gush of running water interrupted the peace.

Rounding the corner, I discovered the source; a weir in a bend of the river. This is where the contrast struck me. Behind me, a still, silent, reflective river, bound by ordered gardens and paths, trimmed trees and bare soil. Ahead, a swirling, greedy river, forcing itself over rocks and against banks covered in grass, trees, ivy and brambles.

That river felt like a contradiction. In the town, a mixture of busy commercial and residential buildings, thought to be always bustling, noisy and full of life, the river appeared tranquil, tamed into submission. As the urban encroachment stalled and the countryside took over, the river leapt into life. In the rural area, considered quieter, more sedate and probably boring to some, the river lost its calm exterior, rushing and bubbling instead, freed from constraints.

I took some photos. They could be one of those moments that sparks the idea for a story.

The weir and a river of two halves

River Bann

Pitch

As I edit The Glass House I continue to think about the overall theme of the book; the underlying and surface plots. I need to keep the plot and pace moving towards the climax and resolution but, as this is women's fiction, keep the characters and their development at the forefront.

Thinking through these issues has given me some fresh ideas about the short and long pitches for the MS. Thought I'd share the latest version.

Her sanctuary and workplace. When a blackmailer finds a use for it, what secrets will Caitlin's glass house cultivate?

 

Restoring her Victorian glass house, growing her horticultural business and rescuing her crumbling home, force Caitlin into accepting a job offer from TV producer, Stuart. As the presenter of a gardening show she thinks she's found a solution to her money worries.

Niamh is revamping her new husband's house. Tom may be twice her age but he's given her the financial security she's never had. When Ellie, his teenage daughter, is expelled from boarding school, letting her move in is a price Niamh must pay. After all, what trouble could an eighteen year-old girl give them?

Some people will do anything for money.

In rural Northern Ireland, the Maguire sisters are about to find out.

Pace and Structure

I belong to two online writing groups. On each you upload chapters of your manuscript to seek reviews from other writers. I've been getting some very encouraging reviews for my current work in progress, The Glass House. Although the name is in a state of flux as I search for a new title. These are snippets from recent comments:

After a crappy day at work I was very happy to read 'The Glass House'. I really enjoyed this. In part because Caitlin is a very engaging character...I hope to see her use her undoubted yet hidden...ish charms on the local menfolk.

I enjoyed the family relationships and excellent Irish banter...and despite myself also rather liked Niamh and her nouveau riche ways!

I also liked how the story was about to have a large change of direction with the introduction of the presumably rather challenging Ellie....

All in all a thoroughly good read....I would read more.

What a fascinating look at rural life in Western Ireland with excellent description...I also rated your Dialogue, Voice and Language 5. (5 is full marks)

This is very good. I can't think of very much to criticise. It is well written and the characters are all well drawn. The dialogue is good and natural sounding.

This is a well-written story with well-drawn, believable main characters and pretty good dialogue.

The chief complaint has been the pace. There isn't enough happening to get the reader sitting on the edge of their seat. So pace is my new focus. The opening chapters are set in rural Co. Tyrone and reflect the slower pace of life away from the city. The intended hook in the opening is the family dynamic and questions over Tom's financial dealings. 

To help me tackle this I tried a new method of editing. I mentioned in previous posts that I've been reading Write A Blockbuster by Helen Corner and Lee Weatherly. The authors recommend using memo cards to plot out your story. This WIP is complete so I'm beyond that stage. Instead I used individual memo cards to map out the characters, scene, action and points of tension in each chapter.

That gave me a picture of how each chapter contributed to the pace and plot. 

As a result I've already cut 4000 words, which included two chapters, and restructured the opening. Let's hope that improves the reviews further. With some hard work and a bit of luck maybe this one might get closer to publication. 

Spring

Spring seems to be creeping into Northern Ireland. The temperature's nudging double figures, the floods are receding from the fields, I've spotted buds on trees and even some flowering daffodils. Our rabbits have been allowed back into their runs on the lawn, the dogs are bouncier than ever and the children cleaned their trampoline and spent an afternoon testing all sorts of shapes and jumps on it.

Perhaps that's what inspired me to try a new angle to the editing process this week. I've been reading 'How To Write A Blockbuster,'  - lots of scribbles and post-it notes now adorn the book. I found their ideas about passive voice clear and concise and decided to check my MS for how many times was and were appeared. So, what was the most effective way to do that? The trusted Find and Replace feature. There I was, feeling pleased with myself as I worked my way through the MS, finding each was, checking how appropriate, passive or overused the word was. Tad ironic ending to that last sentence. I'd reached the halfway point and come across something else I wanted to change. I still don't know how I did it but here comes the cautionary tale to the spring clean. I made my changes and saved them (always very careful to keep saving as I work). Then I pulled up the Find again, typed in was and waited for the answer. Not a single one to be found. I ran it again. Surely I couldn't have been that good and not used was again for the rest of the MS? Right - I wasn't that good. I'd managed to delete every was in the entire 274 pages, including all occasions when those three letters formed part of another word.

It's been an exercise in finding every double blank space and every misspelt word in the MS but I've finally done it; I've replaced each missing was and am ready to continue where I left off. I hope.

The change in weather we've seen this week has been a welcome distraction from my mistake. Caitlin would be proud of me, digging over and starting to prepare the greenhouse for the new growing season. The children are off school so we had a day out and I have plenty of pictures to share the beauty of the Mournes on a Spring day.

Newcastle, Co.  Down 

Foot Bridge Over The Shimna River, Newcastle

Newcastle, Co. Down

Shimna River, Newcastle

Newcastle Beach

Newcastle Beach. Towards Slieve Donard Hotel & Dundrum

Up In The Mourne Mountains

Approaching Spelga Dam From Kilkeel

Spelga Dam

Spelga Dam